Holding space, you said it so well, it's not a cliche. It is a sacred embrace, holding capacity. I thought about when my mother was dying and we sat with her for 6 days. I remember holding her and cradling her, knowing she was at her last breaths. The circle became bigger with my family and friends as 13 of us circled around her and held hands as she took her last breath. And I think of my two granddaughters who are 2 years old and two months old. How I have held them, knowing they were getting to know who I was through my body holding them, my touch, my voice and my eye contact. Thank you for asking this question Laura. It softened my heart. ❤️
I was thinking about death as I wrote this too— that moment where holding space is all you can do (and yet it’s the only thing that matters then!). How incredibly beautiful it is to pair this with your memory of your granddaughters, and the feeling of total presence that we are called to embody at both ends of the lifespan. ❤️🔥sacred embrace is the right term for sure.
Laura, I noted your comment that you enjoy getting comments so I’m coming out of the dark to let you know the ripples that spread from your writing. As a somatic practitioner you’ve opened doors through your practices that I’ve used with clients- for accessing anger or freeing shoulders and diaphragms- introducing me to other thinkers and doers- Jane Clapp, Jennifer Snowden- and the work of Cornelia Elbrecht, I’m completing her Guided Drawing course! So enormous thanks for what you share and think about and practice. It matters as do you!
Ilene, this means so much to hear! It’s astounding how these messages (like yours) can arrive just when they’re needed— I was feeling a bit isolated around my writing today and then I got your notification. It makes me feel really warm and glad to hear how what I’ve shared has been supportive, and so wonderful to know I helped connect you to those brilliant humans! Grateful to be in touch and in community with you, and to know you’re doing good work out there, too. Thank you so much for this. 💕
Hi Laura! Thank you for this post. I feel similarly about being an introvert, but also appreciating the small connections when they come. I am also very curious about your comment regarding how neurodivergent folks may experience attachment and co-regulation differently. I don't have any personal experience, but am definitely interested to learn more!
Hey Rebecca! So grateful to be connected. Thanks for reading and commenting! I wish I had more to share on this personally, but I don't think I know enough to speak well about it-- I guess what I am thinking about here is preference in things like touch or eye contact; needing something less direct or more diffuse. I believe co-regulation is still critical but the flavors might be different. Hoping to learn more about this myself.
Thank you for this post, your feelings around leaving social media, your commitment to weekends without company, and many other thoughts. I connected with so much of what you communicated including paying for co-regulation. It resonates as true for me and how I have worked with therapists/somatic healers/"coaches"/etc. as I find co-regulating non-professionals don't really offer me the regulatory capacity I need as of late. Thank you for this post.
Thanks for this, Christine! It’s so meaningful to hear what other people are experiencing and gives me more to chew on. It seems to me that in difficult times/moments of crisis, “professional co-regulators” are front-line workers, though our culture doesn’t always see it that way. Taking care of ourselves and each other is sacred work, and also, on a practical level, is how we keep ourselves from falling apart. Grateful for your thoughts (and so glad to hear you’re getting what you need!).
Holding space, you said it so well, it's not a cliche. It is a sacred embrace, holding capacity. I thought about when my mother was dying and we sat with her for 6 days. I remember holding her and cradling her, knowing she was at her last breaths. The circle became bigger with my family and friends as 13 of us circled around her and held hands as she took her last breath. And I think of my two granddaughters who are 2 years old and two months old. How I have held them, knowing they were getting to know who I was through my body holding them, my touch, my voice and my eye contact. Thank you for asking this question Laura. It softened my heart. ❤️
I was thinking about death as I wrote this too— that moment where holding space is all you can do (and yet it’s the only thing that matters then!). How incredibly beautiful it is to pair this with your memory of your granddaughters, and the feeling of total presence that we are called to embody at both ends of the lifespan. ❤️🔥sacred embrace is the right term for sure.
Beautiful post and eloquent way to think about the co-regulating container/circle. Thank you!
Thanks so much, Christina! Something I think about a lot (and I wish we all talked about more). Appreciate your reading and commenting! 💕
Laura, I noted your comment that you enjoy getting comments so I’m coming out of the dark to let you know the ripples that spread from your writing. As a somatic practitioner you’ve opened doors through your practices that I’ve used with clients- for accessing anger or freeing shoulders and diaphragms- introducing me to other thinkers and doers- Jane Clapp, Jennifer Snowden- and the work of Cornelia Elbrecht, I’m completing her Guided Drawing course! So enormous thanks for what you share and think about and practice. It matters as do you!
Ilene, this means so much to hear! It’s astounding how these messages (like yours) can arrive just when they’re needed— I was feeling a bit isolated around my writing today and then I got your notification. It makes me feel really warm and glad to hear how what I’ve shared has been supportive, and so wonderful to know I helped connect you to those brilliant humans! Grateful to be in touch and in community with you, and to know you’re doing good work out there, too. Thank you so much for this. 💕
Hi Laura! Thank you for this post. I feel similarly about being an introvert, but also appreciating the small connections when they come. I am also very curious about your comment regarding how neurodivergent folks may experience attachment and co-regulation differently. I don't have any personal experience, but am definitely interested to learn more!
Hey Rebecca! So grateful to be connected. Thanks for reading and commenting! I wish I had more to share on this personally, but I don't think I know enough to speak well about it-- I guess what I am thinking about here is preference in things like touch or eye contact; needing something less direct or more diffuse. I believe co-regulation is still critical but the flavors might be different. Hoping to learn more about this myself.
Thank you for this post, your feelings around leaving social media, your commitment to weekends without company, and many other thoughts. I connected with so much of what you communicated including paying for co-regulation. It resonates as true for me and how I have worked with therapists/somatic healers/"coaches"/etc. as I find co-regulating non-professionals don't really offer me the regulatory capacity I need as of late. Thank you for this post.
Thanks for this, Christine! It’s so meaningful to hear what other people are experiencing and gives me more to chew on. It seems to me that in difficult times/moments of crisis, “professional co-regulators” are front-line workers, though our culture doesn’t always see it that way. Taking care of ourselves and each other is sacred work, and also, on a practical level, is how we keep ourselves from falling apart. Grateful for your thoughts (and so glad to hear you’re getting what you need!).