How do I exercise when I’m tired (maybe all the time)?

How do we work with the feeling of being tired when we’re trying to be more active? Tuning in to the nervous system and soul needs underneath can give us some important clues.

A few weeks ago I shared a post on Instagram that resonated with a lot of folks. It said, in part:

“In my experience, it’s the clients who think of themselves as ‘lazy’ (or who say they are thought of as ‘lazy’ by others) aren’t lazy at all. In fact, when I hear this phrase, it’s a red flag to me that something else is going on…. They’re much more likely to be exhausted, depressed, chronically ill, unable to do exercise in the ways it is conventionally offered due to body or mind variations, resistant to ableist, sexist, racist or other patriarchal external suggestions about their body, or in some way no longer able to override their body’s need for rest or their soul’s need for nourishment.” 

Our culture’s hard-working, no-excuses lens on wellness can put us in a real pickle. If we’re tired, we 1) feel like there must be something wrong with us (i.e., it’s our fault); 2) think we need to use more “discipline” to “push past” it; and 3) if we’re not able to do that, we really messed it up. Finally, and maybe the most damning point of all, is that if we are able to successfully override our tiredness for a while and it backfires on us—we get sick, injured, or collapse—then 4) we definitely weren’t doing it right, and should look at our morning routine, get more protein, take different supplements, and “manage our stress better”— whatever that means (which reminds me, if you missed last week’s post about working with stress, that’s highly relevant here too).

What’s almost never taught in the wellness and fitness world is how to work with our nervous systems and, dare I say, our soul’s needs, by using movement and somatic practices— that is, exercise—to treat that tired feeling rather than fighting it. This does take a little more effort on our parts because we have to learn to understand ourselves and our own unique systems, rather than just following a nutrition and exercise plan that someone else mapped out. But in my experience, this is one of the most valuable skills we can learn, and if we are feeling exhausted or burnt-out, will make us better-equipped to follow a vigorous plan when we decide that time is right. 

While there are lots of ways to talk about nervous system states, I’m going to look at it through the lens of being “tired.” We’ll take a look at what I’ll call (arbitrarily— this isn’t particularly scientific, just some things I’ve found in my own personal and professional work) “4 different kinds of tired.” We always want to make sure  that our medical and nutritional needs are being met—being tired can be a symptom of a larger physiological issue, so please keep that in mind as well! 

It’s also very real that each of us has varying energy levels and we may be living with an illness or condition which leaves us feeling tired. I’m not measuring anyone’s energy levels against some imaginary norm or standard; “tired” here refers to an individual perception of oneself being tired—whatever that means to them. 

When we’re talking about each of these different kinds of tired, keep in mind that your own experience is the most important thing to explore. While I’m pretty good at understanding myself, and recognizing these states in the people I work with, it’s not an exact science and sometimes we have to try something and see what works. My hope is that there will be some information in here that might get you thinking about your own feeling of being “tired” and what might work to support it. 

“Didn’t Do Anything But Still Tired”

The first kind of tired we’ll look at is the “I didn’t do anything, but I’m still tired” kind of tired. In this category I think about folks who are largely seated most of the day for work or school, or engaged in repetitive tasks. These people might also be retired and largely sedentary. Their brain has been stimulated in one particular direction for most of the day, whether it’s problem solving or screen use, but their body hasn’t gotten to move much at all. It’s one of the weird dilemmas of our modern life— humans didn’t evolve to sit at a desk or on a couch but to use our bodies and minds together. Remember that the physiology of stress is to give us the means to fight/fight; we need to actually move our bodies to move through those stress states.

In these cases, while we may feel utterly wiped-out, moving our body can actually revitalize us by clearing the stress hormones that may have accumulated. If we’ve been working at a stressful job or just feeling the stress of being alive in the world, it can feel so good to go for a walk, do something physical with our hands (gardening, cooking, lifting weights, rock climbing)— that will help to discharge the stress hormones and complete the stress cycle.

 Additionally, moving in this way can help us to process (consciously or unconsciously) the events of the day. Just as Francine Shapiro, the founder of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) found, bilateral stimulation— which happens naturally in human movement like walking— is quite helpful in desensitizing us to stressful (or traumatic) events. That’s one reason we can feel so much better after going for a walk. 

So for these kinds of folks, even if they feel tired, I might start with some milder movement—mobility work, swinging Indian clubs, tossing a ball back and forth, a walk together. After about 10 minutes, typically they’ll find they have more energy and vitality returning to them. If that’s not the case, then we know we should switch gears. 

 “Did Too Much, Even If it Doesn’t Seem Like it, Tired”

A second kind of tired is the person who’s been doing too much—either physically, mentally, or emotionally—and is exhausted down to the bone. They’ve had to handle more than their system can comfortably tolerate without adequate time to rest. Now, this might be someone who’s caring for a sick family member, or whose workload is greater than they can comfortably handle. It could be someone who habitually pushes themselves in the gym or on the tennis court, never taking a rest day. It might be someone who’s undernourished. Someone with insomnia. Or someone who is living under so much systemic stress (or oppression) that they can never truly rest. For these folks, more physical stress on the body is not likely to be helpful.

Sometimes these folks don’t feel like they should be tired because the stressors are all external; that is, they don’t feel like they’ve done anything. If they want to try to move, I recommend really light movement to start—mobility, stretching, very light weights—and after about 10 minutes, we’ll have a better idea of what’s really going on as their system downshifts into time that’s centered on themselves (rather than dealing with external pressures). Then we can decide whether we want to continue with gentler movement (a long slow walk can sometimes be good here, too) or we might find that we need to really take it down another notch with something like restorative yoga poses; yoga nidra or other guided meditation; weighted blankets, aromatherapy. Sometimes these folks need to be reminded that this still counts as their movement practice; that it won’t always be like this; and once their body has adequate rest, it’ll be ready to do more again. 

Dissociative Tired- Here, But I’m Really Gone

The third kind of tired is kind of a sneaky one. For some people (myself included), one of the psyche’s defenses against stress is a form of checking out— dissociation, to use a big word— to become overwhelmingly exhausted, even when we’ve had adequate rest and haven’t been overdoing it. In my own case, I might feel like I can’t stop yawning, or everything might feel really dull or boring. It’s hard to concentrate or care about things. I might actually fall asleep if given the chance, or I might find myself eating more than usual and zoning out in front of Seinfeld reruns. Now, these things might be what’s really needed, but I typically know what’s going on with myself—and if I suspect that this might be happening in working with others, I use presence-orienting exercises to “wake them up.” This could include some balancing work or fine motor skill work (balancing two Jenga blocks, or balancing a ball on a yoga block or a book). Sometimes doing some improvisational tasks (having the other person follow my lead) or an improv task like bouncing in time to a favorite song can do the trick. This shouldn’t take long—if, after 5 minutes, the person still feels tired, or disconnected, I know that it was either not the right task; or we’re dealing with one of the other kinds of tired. 

“ Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad” Tired

The final category I want to touch on today is one that might overlap with some of the others—and that’s “soul tired.” In this category, the person might feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or burnt out because they haven’t been able to give their soul what it needs. A few examples come to mind here. A very personal one for me is my need for quiet and alone time. As an introvert, if I have been with other people for too long, or I’m otherwise overstimulated, I feel a kind of tired that is almost like hunger or thirst—and nothing but quiet time alone will restore me. Another example might be the person who has had to do too many things for other people for too long without being able to meet their own needs. They may be getting adequate sleep and even have free time, but they need something they haven’t been able to get—so their vitality has gone underground (this can also coincide with depression, or it may be depression). 

Of course, the practice for this kind of soul tired really varies depending on the situation. For the introvert, I might be more quiet than usual, reduce stimulation, and give them plenty of space to process verbally if needed (these are the folks who will say, “I’m sorry to complain so much!”). If I’m working with someone who has had to endure living with other people’s rules or ideas about them, and who haven’t been able to even find out what their own needs are—the last thing that is helpful is for someone else to suggest what they need. This person needs to start to connect to what they really need, and to be able to take the lead and make choice. I might suggest they try different kinds of movement, or give them a variety of options to pick from. What did they always want to do as a child? Can we make room for that now in their lives? These folks, too, may need space to grieve, or get angry about, what they haven’t been allowed to explore previously. It’s really incredible to watch the “tired” fall away as they find what feels good for them. 

 You might notice that in almost all of these cases, there’s something we can do to support ourselves when we’re tired—and while I’m not opposed to anyone sitting on the couch and eating Cheetos, if that’s not where you feel you truly want to be, then options are available to you. It can take time to uncover why you’re feeling tired, and we always want to rule out any underlying medical situation. And as we saw in the fourth kind of tired, there can be psychological reasons, too, so communicating with your entire team—physical and mental health—is really important.